Not much to say

It has really been a lousy day. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trying to deal with something in my head, with little success. I think I’m more confused now than I was when I started. So I will continue my puzzlement until I either have some kind of answer or the whole thing stops bothering me. People tell me not to over-analyze things; I usually don’t pay much attention. And I likely won’t this time either. It’s in my nature to analyze problems and situations; that is unlikely to change at this late stage of my life. Stay tuned.

Love, gail

Weather headache…grumble, grumble

It’s been kind of a strange day. When I read what a friend was facing as Power of Attorney for a dying friend of hers, I wondered if I was being fair to my Executor by asking her to exercise mine. Making life and death decisions for a family member is hard enough; I guess I should consider how difficult it must be to do so for a friend, no matter how good a friend. In this case, the two women are very close and have discussed exactly the current situation. While it will never be easy, knowing that one is carrying out the wishes of one who can no longer make decisions has to help a bit. All I can say is that my admiration for my friend has increased exponentially over the past several days as she has coped with this dreadful situation. Countless hours at the hospital, countless tears shed, countless hugs given, countless stories shared when that was possible. She has done it all with incredible strength, courage and love. I don’t know her friend, but consider her blessed by the outpouring of deep affection expressed through social media and her tight-knit circle of friends. As she herself has said, ‘Be not afraid.’ She can rest easily, knowing that others have adopted her motto.

In the face of such courage, I look at my own petty complaints with some shame. While I realize that my problems affect my life deeply, some days more than others, I also realize that none of them is life-threatening. How would I deal with a diagnosis of some untreatable illness? How would I deal with dying? I would like to think that I would be able to draw on my family, my friends, and above all, my faith. I know I’ve raised these questions here before, but I still don’t know. Maybe I’ll never haave to find out.

Otherwise, today was OK, aside from the nagging headache. My mytery lump has begun to shrink again, so I can see a bit better. The cleaning elves were here this morning and I spent the time productively on the travel journal. I relearned how to insert pictures and am now in the process of doing that. Other than that, I thought a lot about life and living and decided to lots of the latter so I could continue to enjoy the former.

I think I’ll quit now and go play Scrabble.

Love, gail

No answers …

This morning, we headed off to the hospital to see the new specialist about my lump. He is an opthamologist, but also practises something called oculoplastics. Which I think has something to do with plastic surgery around the eyes. That’s just a guess, but sometimes I really am pretty smart so I think I may be right about it. No matter what his specialties, he didn’t know exactly what my mystery lump was either. I will be having a CT scan as soon as it can be arranged to get a better idea (?some idea?) about what’s happening. At this moment, the lump has moved into its large phase, and is putting pressure on my eye and ear. I am not a happy camper. Two good things came from the visit: 1) the doctor took me and the problem very seriously; 2) we ran into a someone Doug used to work with before we got married. While I was off in various examination rooms, Doug and Joe had an opportunity to get caught up.

Yesterday is kind of a blur. I know we went to church, but honestly, I don’t remember much else. I guess we did normal stuff. At any rate, soon it was today, and now, today is coming to an end. I want to stop watching the news, by the way, because it is just too depressing.

Love, gail

I hate rollercoasters!

Just so you know, I really don’t believe that every good day is followed by a bad one, but sometimes it seems like I’m on exactly that kind of rollercoaster ride through life. And quite frankly, I’m tired of it and I want to get off. Someone is sure to tell me that getting off is entirely in my control, but right now, I can’t accept that. It’s not that anything awful happened. It’s just that I did something stupid yesterday (in my own control, totally) and it cost me big time (not in my control).

On the way home from the barbque last night, I carried my camp chair — the kind that folds up into its own bag — over my bad shoulder. It started to hurt about halfway home but I was too stubborn/stupid to change shoulders. After all it didn’t seem too bad, so I figured that when I got home and put the chair away, the pain would go away too. Wrong. All night, pretty much, my left shoulder was killing me and as I tensed up from that, my neck and back joined in, just for fun. Didn’t sleep much.

Perhaps that was enough to set the rollercoaster in motion this morning. I don’t know. All I do know is that from the moment I got up, I have been miserable. And I still am. So I think I’ll put my blanket over my head and tried to escape it all.

Tomorrow, we’re off to church for the first time in a long time. Then I think I will proofread the travel journal and try to figure out where to insert some pictures. Monday, I finally get to see the specialist about the mystery lump on my left temple. I suspose it’s possible that I have begun to worry about it, and perhaps even begun to construct my own explanations about it. We all know those are never good. Do you think this might contribute to my mood? Maybe.

I think I’ll go now. ‘Bye.

Love, gail

Friday fun

One of my Facebook friends does something every Friday that I applaud. She celebrates the end of the work week by posting “Friday, Friday, Friday!” Today was that kind of day, not because it was the end of the work week, but because it was a happy day. We started our day with our breakfast treat at Tim’s and then did some shopping. Then I finally finished the text for the Panama travel journal entry, and that was definitely worth celebrating! After lunch and a nap, we went to our condo group’s annual BarBQ. It is some indication of how much we like one another that 33 people had indicated that they were coming, despite a last-minute change of date from tomorrow. This from a potential population of around 40. Burgers, lots of salads, cheesecake for dessert, good company — what more could one ask? Like I said, a day worth celebrating.

What can you celebrate today?

Love, gail

@$##!%^% Shoulder Pain

The day started out pretty well. Today was the first time Doug and I both had places to be at the same time. Since my place was a Tim’s tea date and his was a dentist’s appointment, you can guess which took priority. He dropped me off on his way, and my date brought me home. It was a terrific visit with my friend Sylvia. She came in for a bit when we got here so she could check on Doug and finish her tea.  After she left, we had lunch, Doug went off for a nap and I did some stuff around the house. The timing of everything got a bit disrupted by a visit from the president of our Condo Corporation (friendly visit), then we had tea and somewhere around here, my should started acting up. And now it hurts too much to type. So I quit.

Love, gail

Another busy day

Today’s plan was simple enough: get up, do a bit of prep for lunch and supper and then sit down at the computer to work on, and perhaps even finish, the travel journal entry from the Panama trip. Well, it didn’t quite work out that way but the way things did work out was even better. Because we had been invited to my sister-in-law’s for dinner, there was no supper prep to do. Getting eady for lunch involved peeling and cutting up a mango, and washing and slicing some strawberries. That done, I sat down as planned and after a little while, the phone rang. It was one of our friends from the group of teachers who were together in India in 1997. She had received my latest update n Doug and just wanted to touch base. Doug had gone to get us tea, so I chatted with our friend until he came home, then he took over when he came home. It’s always such a pleasure to reconnect with this small group of folks with whom we shared this wonderful experience. Probably half an hour later I got back to work!

I did accomplish a lot anyway. Before we headed out for dinner, I had reached the second last day of the trip. The next time I can work on it, I should finish the writing and hopefully get started on inserting the pictures. I did find out today that I could actually print the thing as well, and that means I can proof- read more easily and see ow the whole layout looks. To me, that is exciting.
Dinner out, home for tea and relaxing since for some reason, we’re both pretty tired.

Love, gail

Tuesday

Not a very inventive title, but then I’m not in a very inventive mood for some reason. It’s been an OK day, nothing spectacular either good nor bad. Except when I bit the inside of my lip at lunch time. That still smarts! Laundry got done, meals got made and dishes got cleaned up. I covered a bunch of days in the Panama trip journal. The garbage is at the curb. An ordinary, uninventive sort of day.

I forgot to make note of something rather special yesterday. While we were at Thomas Brothers, I caught sight of a young man who looked quite familiar, and after a few minutes of intense concentration and even some staring, I fear, I actually remembered not only who he was but also his name! Curtis was a student in one of my stats classes in the early 2000s and was so absolutely bamboozled by me that he actually wanted to do an independent study course with me as well. He was a pretty darned good student and is a heck of a nice guy. I’m really glad we bumped into each other. We’ve already connected on Facebook and hopefully will be able to get together to get properly caught up. These are the things that make life fun.

And there weren’t any of those today. See you tomorrow.

Love, gail

PS…ONE BIG GOOD THING: Doug is cleared to leave the country with insurance coverage on October 15!

Happy but tired…

There is something really important about the order of the words in the title. Those of you who know me might have expected the reverse but today, the emotion trumped the fatigue. We had a wonderful day in the absolutely glorious sunshine. Around 10, we headed east to drop something off at our dentist’s office at Highbury and Dundas, then turned south toward the lake. Our goal was Port Stanley, to visit a friend who has a home there. I hesitate to call it a cottage, and it isn’t just a summer place. It’s on the lake and is a truly beautiful retreat.

While we could have spent the day sitting on the porch, watching the lake go by, we took her out for lunch instead. Because we really aren’t bar people nor do we enjoy eating out of doors when the flies are buzzing, we had never gone to GT’s. We ate there today. For those who don’t know, it’s a beach bar, voted CNN’s best such establishment in the world in 2013. It’s still a bar, and we sat on an outdoor covered patio, but we loved every bit of it. The food was remarkably good, although the noise level made conversation very difficult. Overall, it was a great meal and we had a wonderful visit with our friend.

After lunch, we headed home with a stop at Thomas Brothers market for strawberries. What made us, me in particular, happy, was that Doug did nearly all the driving. It was our first little road trip since his surgery and all went very well. This bodes well for the future. We have a wedding coming up in Ingersoll in a couple of weeks and a less-enjoyable trip to Milton for a memorial service on August 9. Travel will be much easier for us if we can both drive. And now we can!

Look out world! We may get tired but we’re coming to visit!!!!

Love, gail

Dreary day, dreary me

I know I’ve said it before, but I will repeat it again: I hate this kind of weather. Everything hurts. The simplest task take on Herculean proportions and before I know it, I can hardly move and require major medication in order to even be comfortable enough to sit still. It is totally ridiculous!!! And it’s not like I did anything monumentall just groceries, a bit of laundry and general stuff around the house. So I’m frustrated and angry and generally unhappy.

So I’m done with this tomnight. And tomorrow, being Sunday, is my day off so I shall speak with you again on Monday.

Love, gail

PS…forgot to report – 2 pounds lost last week, and that’s a beginning.