Maybe the new glasses, maybe the weather, maybe just straight fatigue, but man, do I have a headache!! Accomplished lots today, or at least, it felt like I did. Got the licence plates renewed, and had a nice drive up to Lucan with Sylvia, despite the rain. Went to visit the Mazda and pick up the garage door opener and try to have a look for the lost treasure. I am almost positive I was driving the Mazda the last time I wore it. It doesn’t matter; there was no sign of it. Also went to Costco, and Doug came along. Perhaps not the wisest decision, since he is totally exhausted and seems to be in some pain.
Tomorrow, I shall go back to the task of cleaning the closet floor so I can check there. I said last night that I needed to clear the clutter from my bedroom closet. Obviously, I meant this quite literally, but, on reflection, it strikes me that it is also a darn good metaphor for my mind these days. A friend suggested delving into the dresser drawers as well, again both literally and metaphorically. The hunt will proceed, but tonight, I need an aspirin, perhaps a hot shower to ease the pain in my neck and shoulders, and then sleep.
Before I go, I wanted to share this photo of a visitor we had yesterday. He wasn’t far from home, maybe about 15 feet. I sure hope his parents knew where he was.
Today started beautifully with a visit from Michael for tea. I hadn’t seen him since he came to the hospital to see me on the day of Doug’s surgery and that was 4 weeks ago today. Can you believe it? Four weeks ago already! The three of us had a lovely chat over a cup of tea (courtesy of Michael), then Doug went off for a rest and Michael and I got caught up, for an hour or so. He took away some notes I had for him, since he is taking over the teaching of the statistics course we worked on together for the past two years. He will do a wonderful job!
Lunch was followed by a trip to the optometrist to get my new lenses. Again. They got ’em right this time, but they’re taking a bit of getting used to, so I’m a bit dizzier than usual. Then supper, now this and then tea. We’ll finish our game of Words with Friends later.
No luck with the hunt for my lost treasure. I did make a start this morning before Michael’s visit, but there is still a great deal of stuff to uncover in order to complete the search. I did find out that I left the garage door opener in the Mazda. Tomorrow, I go up to Lucan with my friend Sylvia to return the Mazda’s licence plates for a refund. I guess then I should go and get the garage door thing and have a quick look through the car for the lost treasure. With the continuing excavation of the bedroom closet as part of my search, and preparing a couple of meals, that should be enough. Gives me time to spend with the love of my life. Here’s hoping he has a better day tomorrow.
Do that if you can, folks; spend some time with the love of your life.
I am having a bad day, not Doug. I don’t want to talk about it either. Suffice to say that it may be forgetfulness, it may be stupidity or it may be one of those quirky things that happen to old folks. I don’t know, but I am really pretty upset.
… for sunshine and Ontario asparagus. Time on the porch in the sun this afternoon and fresh Ontario asparagus for supper. With some simple baked tilapia. What more could a kid ask for? I suppose fresh Ontario strawberries would be nice, but I’m sure not complaining. All in all, a reasonable sort of day, the kind that help
s life hum along. We could use lots of these.
The asparagus was a find at No Frills this morning, lucky timing, since it seemed to have just arrived from Courtland. Lots of great fresh produce and I will admit, I was surprised. Pleasantly. Brother knows best; that’s where he always gets his produce. Speaking of brother, we have had our last Saturday coffee for a couple of months since he is off to Saratoga, New York, to teach chemistry to gifted kids. He has done this for a number of years, and basically has had a great time doing it. For three weeks, he spends an incredible amount of timewith a group of 20 or so kids aged about 13-14, and covers the entire senior high school chemistry curriculum. He has a TA who handles some of the lab work. I can’t imagine doing anything remotely that demanding, physically and mentally. No wonder my brother is one of my heroes!!
A quite evening with my Doug, then on to the next. I managed to get my hair cut today so that is one less thing for the week ahead,
… Doug came home from the hospital, weak, tired and in a great deal of pain. Three weeks later, he continues to improve, even though he may not think it’s happening fast enough. He forgets sometimes about all the things he can do now that he wasn’t able to even dream of doing a couple of weeks ago. The pain seems more controlled, the external scars are healing really well, and the inside stuff is slowly knitting itself back together. Three weeks from now, I’m sure we’ll look back on today and chuckle a bit.
We spent an hour with our travel agent today, and sitting for that long is incredibly tiring for Doug. He did exactly the right thing after the meeting; he went for a long walk around the small strip mall where her office is. Then we came home and he had a nap, also exactly the right thing to do. The exciting thing, of course, is what we did at the travel agent’s office. We booked our Alaskan adventure for Spetember 2015! Fifteen days, land and sea, and then a few days in Vancouver and possibly Calgary before heading back home. Let the fun begin!! OK, it’s more than a year away, but we can dream, can’t we?
Errands, shopping, tea with a friend, visit from an electrician, all sorts of things that make life seem pretty normal. And that’s all good. Of course, 10 hours after the electrician left, the bank of lights cut out again. I guess we may have to do something about it after all. Sometime or other. The kitchen is kind of dark otherwise.
I guess that the number of normal, routine kind of days should increase now. Although things won’t be “normal” for a while, I’m sure, they will begin to move in that direction. We will both recover over the next couple of months, start doing more of the things we’ve always done, seeking new adventures, moving ahead with our lives. Tomorrow we begin that process when we meet with our travel agent to book our August 2015 anniversary cruise plus. Excited!!
When i saw my doc today, she did a whole bunch of wonderful things. First, she changed one of my meds to try to combat my worsening acid reflux. Second, she gave me a whole lot of information about recovering from cardiac surgery, information that no-one else, including Doug’s cardiac surgeon, has bothered to give us. More on that in a moment. Finally, my doc continues to work at solving the mystery of the bump on my forehead, or to be more precise, on my temple. The ultrasound suggested that it was a thickening of the artery walls. One diagnosis has been ruled out, something called temporal arteritis (not a spelling error), which affects vision. Beyond that, they’re still not sure. Today we had a consult with the fourth partner in the practise, and the decision was to refer me to someone who is both an opthamologist and a plastic surgeon. He seemed to be the consensus choice of the partners, because he likes mysteries. I will certainly keep you all informed!
Now, about Doug`s recovery: no-one bothered to tell us that it takes from 6 to 8 weeks for the effects of the anaesthetic to leave the body. The stuff fills the fat cells, primarily the brain cells (90 percent fat cells), but all the fat cells in the body. It simply takes time, and that’s one of the main reasons he’s so tired. The other, of course, is that healing is tiring. Another useful piece of information that we weren’t given specifically is that a high proportion of people recovering from cardiac surgery seem to have some sort of mood issues for several months after surgery. Not everyone, of course, and the seriousness can vary from minor to significant temporary personality changes. The idea, my doc said, is for me to recognize that sometimes if Doug doesn’t seem himself, I kind of need to roll with it. I promise to try, to learn to walk away…..
But for now, I shall walk away from here…
I am having far too much trouble dealing with the emptiness on one side of our garage. After all, the Mazda was just a car. Even though he had a name. And was with me for 17 years. But he was just a car. And now he’s not. The feeling is akin to losing a good friend. All I have left is licence plates, and they will go back to be recycled as soon as I have time to drive to Lucan, the closest MTO service office. Then there will be lots of memories. And lots of room in the garage.
The rest of the day is kind of a blur. I know I went to the grocery store and to Tim’s and to the doctor with Doug. Doug didn’t have a particularly good day, but the doc says he’s doing fine. The tingling-pain-numbness sensations are likely nerves that got jangled during surgery and the rest is healing. The time between doctor’s visits is increasing and that’s all good.
We haven’t played a lot of Words with Friends lately, so that’s what I’m going to do now.
Goodnight. Do something nice for someone soon.
I have trouble believing that Doug’s surgery was three weeks ago today. I’m not sure whether I think it ws longer ago than that or even fewer days ago. It’s weird. Sometimes, it seems that he just got home and other times it seems that the whaole thing is a dream that never really happened. That is, until I see that he is in pain and tired and uncomfortable and just not himself. These are the kind of reminders that neither of us needs. During the past week, he has had some bad days. While I think the source of the sensation of pain and tingling and numbness on his chest is the nerves reacting to the healing process deeper in his chest. Time and his doctor will tell.
Meanwhile, we continue to move forward. At least I hope we do. The one thing I am totally sure about is that I love him and he loves me, and everything else will settle down over time.
Tomorrow, the Mazda goes to his new home. While there will be more room in the garage after he’s gone, there will be a big empty space in my heart. Yes, I know he’s just a car, but ….
Doug’s been home for two weeks. It’s still hard for me to believe, until I see him unable to do so many of the things that he has done for years. Things like making tea, pouring water from the Brita pitcher, walking up and down the stairs several times a day, driving, looking after me. But slowly, he is doing more and more. Walked for 12 minutes this afternoon, out to the corner and back, then down the stairs to get something. He’s still tired but he is resting regularly, which is a good thing. The pain meds seem to have made things a bit more comfortable for him, and I know that the more he is able to resume his normal activities, the better he’ll feel. His progress is remarkable, butI’m not sure he thinks so.
Shopping is really tiring for me, but perhaps if I keep at it, I may get stronger. It’s hard for me to believe that right now. And anyone looking at me would wonder if I had been in a fight. I have bruises everywhere from bumping into things. Walking in a straight line seems very difficult for me. When we were out for our afternoon stroll, all the fear of falling came rushing back as I struggled to keep a steady gait. Part of the problem is that I tend to walk with my eyes on the ground so that I can limit the likelihood of falling. And then there is my old nemesis, dizziness. While it hasn’t been a major issue for the last little while, it is ever-present. If I can get stronger, maybe all of this will be moot. Time……
At any rate, two of Doug’s major recovery weeks are in the books, with 4 more to go. The miracles will continue and will occur more frequently.